


I'm Broken . . . (!REVAMP!)

by BlackBane_Studios



Series: The cycle of breaking and mending.. [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Blood and Gore, Ecto-Body (Undertale), Ecto-Breasts (Undertale), Ecto-Penis (Undertale), Everyone Is Gay, Gay, Get in loser we're going skeleton shopping, Gore, Heavy Angst, Heavy Drinking, Heavy Petting, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Jaws is fucking babey, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Murder, No beta reader we die like guys, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Drug Use, Reader is the qween of narsty, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Shameless Smut, Slow Burn, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Tags May Change, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Vines, Why are things so heavy all of a sudden, again speaking of, also reader is perverted, and gals, and my trans bbys, and never will for that matter, and nonbinary pals, but later, dark shit I know, g a y, hehoo hop onto the angst train, it's platonic for the most part so chill, like a lot of vine references, metta makes a move on a few different paps and reader shuts it down every time, okay lemme explain the W.D. Gaster/Reader, reader has no fucking chill, so much fucking S M U T, speaking of chill again, tags are fucking horrendous things, very very very perverted at times, vine references
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:46:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24400810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackBane_Studios/pseuds/BlackBane_Studios
Summary: You were suddenly released from that... hell, without context or explanation. All you want to do is keep your friends safe, from yourself and other forces. And then, skeletons. So. Many. Skeletons. Let me tell you, keeping the fact that you're a mage is a tedious job already, but now with boss monsters thrown into the mix? Things might get harder for you, yet nevertheless, you should always keep your guard up. Who knows, perhaps..ţ̴̟̥̜̓̿͌̇̍̆̈́̔ẖ̴̨͉̖̰͎̬͓͍̺̽ȩ̶̮̪͔͂͑̎̋̌̐͛͐̂͌̈́y̸͇͔̺̠̫̞̝̖̓̾̿͗'̷̳͆͑̏̈̈́̈̎̚are laying low for a reason..
Relationships: Alphys/Undyne (Undertale), Mettaton/Papyrus (Undertale), Papyrus (Undertale)/Original Character(s), Papyrus (Undertale)/Original Female Character(s), Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader, Sans (Undertale)/Original Character(s), Sans (Undertale)/Original Female Character(s), Sans (Undertale)/Reader, W. D. Gaster/Reader
Series: The cycle of breaking and mending.. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1761970
Comments: 4
Kudos: 40





	I'm Broken . . . (!REVAMP!)

**Author's Note:**

> Me: WASSUP FOCKERS - ?!
> 
> My amazing readers: why do you have my phone? (the revamp)
> 
> Me: FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY - !

Swallowing two pills down, you gagged, refusing to hack them up, no matter how much you really wanted to. 

It’d been two months since you were released from that.. hell. 

You would never admit it out loud, but you’d become addicted to the meds in a sort of twisted way, which were probably designed to make you unable to function properly without them. 

Congrats,  **_they_ ** succeeded. 

Disgust clouded your mind as you felt the usual burning buzz that coursed through you do its’ job, flooding your mindscape with plastic emotions that you could toy with at your very will. 

You despised it, yet..

The feeling that you got when you didn’t take them was.. oh god, you  **_hated_ ** it.

Emptiness flowed into your mind, your veins, overloaded your senses and rendered you useless. Just like  **_they_ ** had said. Just like  **_they_ ** had planned. 

So cold.. and... weightless.. it hung from your very being, your center, your  **SOUL** .

_ It was what  _ **_they_ ** _ wanted. And  _ **_they_ ** _ had won. You would never, e v e r be free of  _ **_them_ ** _.  _ **_They_ ** _ would most likely hold you even in death, whenever that was supposed to be. As it always was,  _ **_they_ ** _ said  _ **_they’d_ ** _ choose when the time came. You were easily disposable.  _

But now wasn’t the time to bitch about that, you still had to find a place to stay.

Well, other than Zoe’s place, where you were currently residing. 

You flopped out of bed, groaning as you stood and stretched, your damaged frame popping and cracking with resistance.

How long have you skipped a good run? Two or three weeks, maybe? 

No matter, you can just go on a nice lengthy one this morning, and ignore your own worthlessness and laziness.

Yes, that’s how you felt about yourself. 

With your  **_g̲͖̍͜͝i̧͔͇̙̔̂̂͡f̝̪͙̺͒̆͒ť̢̙͈̕͝/̡̢̬̳͛̽͠͝cu͓̻̟̝̗͌̐̍̂͞r̞̜͆̍s̻͉̪̗̾͛̓̐e̢̙̔͘_ ** , you could have fought back, you could’ve - !

.

.

.

What were you doing again?

Oh yeah, going for a relaxing jog to start the day. 

Humming a tune that sat on the edge of your fuzzy, not quite awake mind, you crept to the bathroom, utterly silent. 

It was part of the training you received - no, the  _ torture - _

Mindlessly continuing your morning routine, the bathroom door was locked, a washcloth grabbed, the sink filled, your clothes discarded, and dirty bandages unbandaged. 

The deep, blackened, jagged collection of wounds and scars that carved into your tough flesh were many; the ones more recent being infected, the sweet, sickening reek of rot drifting out of the largest of them. 

You couldn’t heal them within a day. You’d tried.

And ended up passing out for a few days from your low magic reserves. 

_ Dumbass fucking bitch who can’t do anything right e v e r - _

As you cleaned the filth out of the festering wounds, you let your mind drift into… darker places, but you swiftly yanked yourself back to reality, not letting your consciousness go that far down the rabbit hole at this unholy time you were awake. 

Tossing the washcloth into the now murky, foul-smelling water, you looked in the mirror, not dwelling on your tired reflection before opening the mirror cabinet, fishing out your contact case. 

When you moved, your tender, freshly cleaned gashes stung with rawness, and being freely exposed to oxygen didn’t help much either.

You slowly put your contacts in, blinking the fake (e/c) disks into place. 

Hey, you looked a little more human! ...Who were you kidding, you looked like you just crawled out of hell, then violent purgatory even. 

That’s what makeup is for. Yay.

A thin layer of foundation, then fill in scars with some concealer, a bit more foundation, then powder and a bit of mascara. 

Easy to commit to memory, simple and quick, yet something that would make you look slightly presentable. 

Now to take care of your mess, and then go for a jog. 

  
  


~Oddly placed time skip brought to you by tEm fLakEs!1!!~

  
  


This is an even worse mess. 

You didn’t mean to kill him, you really didn’t..

It just sorta… happened?

Thank the verse you knew how to hide a body without getting caught. 

He startled you while you were running, and well, you impaled him with some crystals. Purely accidental. 

Now to get him off the road..

Redirecting your magic back into the crystals, you lifted them and the body, trotting into the woods, devoid of any emotion.

Whenever you killed, you kept a neutral face and clear head. 

No remorse, no regret, just deal with the consequences. 

You kept going until the forest got thicker, and significantly darker, the absence of bird calls and any animals settling your supposedly steel nerves. 

Dismissing the iridescent tea green shards, the corpse dropped to the ground, cold and stiff already, unlike the lukewarm blood that began to pool and release the sharp scent of iron into the thick, humid air. 

The familiar smell sent a pleasured shiver up your spine..

  
  
  


**_...0̸̬̟͐̔̌͑̉̈͂͂̈͂̚͠r̴̳̼̹̪͓̳͙͓͂̌ ̶͍́͒̂̍̿̆̇͑̊̿͊͗̕̕w̴͙̻̥̓͆͗̎̆̓̋̿̂̑̎̕͝͝@̸̢̢̛͙̥̝̠̪̖̟̯̠͉̲̐̾͒̾̅͋̓̔̒͠ͅ$̶̧͖̬̻̬͈͉͙͚͉̪͇̣̩̭̓͜͝ ̸͙̟̩̠͇̹͕͚̼̭̰͎͊͐̈́͠ͅt̵̯͕͐̆͂h̶̨̡̨̙̦͓̣͓̦̜̻̲͖̼̑͋̌͊̆̌͗́̿̋̚̚͝͝@̵̢̢̛͓̞̦̜̞̘̬̜̥̠̙̘͔͒̅̽͠͝ͅͅt̵̡̛̬̦̘͍͔̯͗̔̐͒̆̅ ̴̨̨̻̰̯̹̫̲̱̻͇̠̫̈́̂̋̿̇̑̾̎̆̚ỳ̵̧̳͙͇͕̟̱͙̤̭̟̟̔̍̚͜0̷̢̨̨̢̧͍̟̥̯͇̳̱̲̙̩̣͇̓̋̍͗̆̑͠ủ̷̫͇͂͂̋͂͂̎̄̌͘͠R̷̡̛̲̯͓̠̼̮̳͎̣̱̮͊͗̅̌̿̾́ ̸̩̼̫̺͖͖̰͕͓̀̄̃̍̐̎̑̎̑͆̎̓̂͐͗$̵̭͒͌͌̾̃̊̊̇̑̓̌̆̉i̴̹͔͆̎͒̅̋̓̊̒̂͗̌̀̌͋̚̚̚Ñ̴̨̢̖̹̦͈͕̰̠̘̮̎͛͑̇͜$̷̢̧͎̼̻͎͙̪͓͍̣̍͂̉̃͌͐̾̚͜͝͝͠͝ͅͅ ̴̢̧̫̜̮̥̯̦̤͕̝̭̏̔̃̋͜c̷̡̝̜͕̣̺̣̘̹̰͉̖͖̹͛̈́̉̐̿R̷̲̻͉͖͙̮̟̯͚͌̈̚͜͜a̶̧̧̢̞̹̩͔͚̥̗̩̝̱͚̯͐̊͒̆̇̒́̉̃̓͗͗̂w̵̢̮͇̰̳̮͇͔̩̲͊̄͑̎͌̊̚̚͘͝L̸̨̝̈́̎͊̆͘n̵̢̯̜͍͔͔̭̉̆̎̽̿̌̂̓͑̊͘̕͜G̴̛̤̲̼̩͓̊͌̌̔̊͌̉́̓͗̽͂͘ ̸̢̡̛̖͇̘̙̰̺͙̖͔̗͕͉̝̦̀̈́̆̾͛̋̿̓͜0̶̢̻͎̣̜̠̟̟̈́͆͋̆͜͝ͅn̶̩͚͗͋͛̈́̃͗̉̏̀̅̎̈́̚͝ͅ ̷̧̧̛̛͍͔̪̖̤̺͚̭͎̳͚͎͉̲͊͗͐̈́̑̆y̸̧̨̝̜̳̞̤̔̍̍̾̑̆͋̾͆̎͛̌̅͌̓͒̚0̵̨̛̌̉̎͂͆͌͆̓̎̈́͊̈̾̒̚ú̸͓̫̤̍̾̇̍̽͐̈́͊̈́͘r̷͈̪̟̖̦̱̫̜̖̖̙͔̰̺͛̄̋̀̌̿͆͘̕͘͜͝ ̶̧̙͔̣̼̤͖̮̥̤̦̋͆͘b̶̡̧̢̲̳̗̩̭̱̫̤̊̅͜ã̶̡̠̺̞͎͗̈́̊̀̿͜͠ͅĈ̵͉̇͛̀͂̈̍̀͝k̶̡̤͔̜͚̦̞͕͚͂̾̈̽̾̈́̈̊̾̆̿͠͠͠͠.̸̧̦̗̖͓̝̝̘̻̞̞̈́̌́͌̑̓̽̈́̿͆̆̓̕͝͝͝.̷̡̛̮̜̩͈̫̱̣̬̭͉͍̖͓̣̈́̇͗̔̈́̽͑̄͐̑̈́̆̋̃͑͜͜.̶̈́̂̒̉̿̐̂̾͆̉̂̀͘͝ͅ?̵̡̹̩͉͇̙͓̖̓̀͌̂̇ͅ_ **

  
  


Snapping your fingers, the mangled figure went up in flames, burning a deep celadon. 

That was magic fire, not even the bones would be left. You learned that from..  _ experience.  _

Giggling, you knew you couldn’t enjoy this, like most things.

If you used too much magic, the chip  **_they_ ** implanted in you would.. paralyze you somewhat, that was probably the best way to put it.

Another reason why you were out of it after using so much healing magic. 

Lucky for you, the damned piece of shit malfunctioned from your overuse and strength of magic that day. 

You had a bit of leeway now, and this is what you were choosing to do with it. Burning a dead stranger from accidental homicide. 

Fun.

_ Goddamn,, you were such a fucking sadomasochist.  _

Going back to humming that same song from earlier, you pulled out your phone, glancing at the time.

Yep, you definitely couldn’t enjoy this as much as you wanted to.

Zoe would be up and about soon, and you didn’t want a repeat of the first run you went on after having gotten back from -

Nope. Not thinking about that.

Aighty, time to go back. 

You inhaled that fleeting waft of goodness that assaulted your nose like a gentle, aphrodisiac tipped razor. 

Raising the fire’s temperature by a few thousand degrees, you pinpointed the intent solely on the burnt cadaver. 

Scanning the area, you brightened at the sight of a suitable stick. 

Using a sickle would be easier, but that was only if you really wanted to get caught and have your ass dragged back to hell in chains, cuffs, and even a fucking muzzle -

Okay, that wouldn’t happen, drama queen. 

Calling the stick with your magic, it zipped over to you, and you caught the bit of wood easily.

The thick, yet crumbly and slightly moist earth beneath you was perfect to draw a quick, simple travel incantation in.

Swiftly drawing a circle, you began to work on the inside runes, nearly losing yourself in the smooth, intricate lines and ancient markings you knew by SOUL.

Stepping back, you briefly admired your own handiwork, before taking a small bag of black salt out seemingly nowhere if anyone was watching. 

The smoky smell made you wrinkle your nose in disgust. Blood was much better. 

As you sprinkled the salt into the circle, you were glad the damp pine scent around you was so thick, it would mask the faded crimson scent that was buried under some hot, red-grey ashes. 

You tucked the salt back into your inventory, taking one last, good survey of the peaceful wonderland you were in.

Maybe you’d come back to this neck of the woods to meditate. 

That was.. actually a pleasant idea.

Scooting yourself into the circle, you made sure to not wreck anything or break the circle.

Welp, home time. Temporary home should you say. 

Muttering the correct combinations of half phrases and articulated wording, the outline of the circle sparked and lit with a deep celadon, not unlike the flames that you summoned for your ‘terrible’ deeds. 

You didn’t even need to feel the growing wetness of your sticky wounds. Of course your injuries opened with magic use. 

How could they not with your karma?

A flash of light encased the area; 

and you were gone, only leaving a smoking circle and some scattered ashes.

A breath someone had been holding in was let out, and their skeletal hands loosened from their tense balled up state. 

They were so confused as to what they should do.. share this news with the others, or.. not?

Shaking their skull, they decided that they wanted - no,  _ needed _ to clear their head.

And then they caught a whiff of your scent.

_ Oh stars above. _

~

“Ow…”

You’d slipped. On the salt. From the circle. 

_ In your fucking room.  _

You were right, today was going to be positively fan - fucking - tastic.

That reminded you. 

You had to clean this shit before Zoe was fully up, or she’d kick your ass. 

Scrabbling and trying to get up like a partially dead rat that was found in the fryer and tossed on the floor, you hastily began organizing shit in your room, scooping up and tossing trash and bottles into their now growing respective piles. 

Annnnndddd something wet and sticky was dripping off your hand. 

Did you spill an old drink on yourself, what-

Oh. 

_ Right, you were bleeding.  _

“(Y/N), you better have your lazy bitch - ass self of yours up before I - ..”   
  


You froze, looking up at Zoe, who’d slammed your door open in her fit of morning excitement and energy.

An uneasy silence settled over the both of you.

“Really (Y/N)? I can clearly see you were rushing and even spilled some old - ick, whatever that is on you. Go take a shower, ya freak.”

She laughed heartily, playfully dragging you out of your bedroom and shoving you in the direction of the bathroom, retrieving a towel from the couch. 

Letting a smile creep into your face, you allowed yourself to be roughly shoved into the bathroom, a towel stuffed into your arms, the door shut soundly behind you. 

Her house was nice, you couldn’t lie.

It had a certain rich - but - not - stuck - up kind of feel to the whole thing; well, other than the kitchen. 

The bathrooms were another exception. 

Smooth marble lined with silver trim and white, the usual color palette. 

Overused, though familiar, and you were able to appreciate it in your own odd way. 

Yet, on your bad days..

Hoping to shake that train of thought, you found yourself tenderly undressing your shivering, pained, blood - stained form.

You were unable to derail where your thoughts were headed. 

Two months… seemed to be such a short time, huh?

Not for you.

Time had somehow stretched, contorted itself in your mind, made this feel like a two, fuck, maybe even three year vacation from the hell you’d previously been trapped in. 

Bad days… oh boy.

You’d only had a few so far, but damn. 

The cleanliness of the house disturbed you on those days, constantly reminded you of that place - 

_ All the silver tables, the pristine rooms that smelled of sanitization, cheaply and barely hiding the stench of.. _

_ failed fights, _

**_sickly sweet illness,_ **

**_raw, carnal hunger,_ **

  
  
  


**_d̵̡͈̻̼̗͔͕̖̘̊̔̑̆̌́̔͗͋̆̉̕͠͝ͅ ̶̼̬̮̻̪̹̪̭̻̘̋̇̂͑̌̈́͜ė̵̢͚̹̻͔̙̙̜̝̱͍̣͔̫̞͂̉̈́ ̷͔̠̗̠̼̲̟͔̦͓̤͔͙̈̄̾̽͊̕a̵̢̰̗̣̙͐́̄̽̐̇̐̐͗̚̕ ̴̠̼̥̋̈̒̇̔̂̑͋̾̔͒̈́ṯ̸̢̥͕͖̯̼̹̭̲̜͇̓͊̑͊͑̿͒̿̍͋̐̉̚͝͠ ̷̧̛̝͍̪̥̜̘̭̼̥̫̘̭̳̊̽̐̇͛͘͘͜͝͠h̸̺̝͚̦̹͇̠̞̰͚͔̥̳̱̄._ **

  
  
  


_ You honestly pondered why  _ **_they_ ** _ let you go free so suddenly, so.. randomly? _

_ It was unexpected, extremely abnormal. _

_ They didn’t do that… not even for ones who’d been through even more horrific abuse than had been dealt to you.  _

  
  
  


**_W̸̨̜̏̀͌͛̈́̉̓͜͠ẖ̶̦̫̟̫͍̲̑͋̑͌̅̽̒͑͛͑̈́̕ͅą̴̨͇̥͓̬̦̪̲̺̫͍͈̩͛͗̔̎̽̀́͛̊̏̋ͅt̸̮̙͇̜̬̮͖̹͎̱͛͘ ̴̧̛͕̲͎͔̟̻̜̂̓̋̇̈́̈́̈́͆̋̈́̕͜͝͝m̴̧̖͗̊̎̿̒́͂̚å̸̠͓͎̠̝̝̭̰͙̪͍͈̹̻̥̼̀̓̂͐̈́̽͑̏͌͜d̴̼̠̱̯̗͕͚̝̤̺͓̬̼̪̿̋e̸̡̳͎͇̠͔̬͎̠̙̫͈̺̣͋̇̏͊̃͛̾͐̈́͋̓̄̈́͘͘͝ͅ ̸̢̛̱͚͙̥̬͈̭̙̯̐̋ͅy̷̩͒̆̌͌͌͌̈́̎̆͐̅͐͊̑͑͘o̸̬̝͇̪̪̤͎̖͖̖̗̣̩͗̓́̀͠ų̴̡̡̢͕̟͍̘̩͕͛̄̊̈́͂̈́͗̓̌͛͝͠ ̴̧̡̛̛̜̘̫̙̱̰͈͍͖̦̗͉̣̙̂̃̂̂͂̈͐̊̕͘͝s̵̨̳̘̲̮̆p̶̨̧̺̱͖̩̗͊͜͜ḙ̵̢̢̧̛͕̦̪͍̪̭͈̳̘̭̅̀̿̈́̋̏̍͜͜͜ç̵̟̤̘̦͕̗͔̞͂̋͛̾̑̇̐̑͌̆̐̉̔͋ͅị̷̡͕̟̱̩̺̹̋͌͌͐̾͌̐͐̊̂͗̈́̈́̕͝a̸̡̟̠̺̬̹̞̘̰̻͉̩͒̈͋̈̽̏͆̓̒̔͘͝͠l̷̩̼̤͍̝̫̣͕͙̗̦͆̊͗̈̒͒̌̅̍̕̚͝?̸̢̨̯͕͔̲̱̘̲̒̈́̌̈̎͋̃̐̂͗͜͝͝͝_ **

  
  


_ Absolutely nothing, as far as you could damn well tell.  _

_ You were the average mage, nothing stood out about you.  _

_ Merely an expendable weapon for them to use as they pleased.  _

_ So why, why you? _

**_They_ ** _ could’ve released those poor kids instead of you! _

_ Knowing yourself, you would’ve gladly offered your safety and discharge for any, shit, even all the kids! _

_ You’d willingly let  _ **_them_ ** _ harm you further, stab needles into your punctured and bruised skin, scar you up, make you even more of a monster than you already were. _

_ Heh,  _ **_monster._ **

_ Oh, the dark irony that word held.  _

_ Monsters were being of pure love, you preferred to call them mythical creatures, legends for the king and ex - queen.  _

_ A real monster? _

_ Someone who found sick, intoxicating pleasure in tearing others apart slowly, any way they could, someone who knew how to brutally massacre their new plaything the moment they met them, pick them into fragments from the inside out, toy with their fragile state like a fun children's game, unravel them like a perfectly wrapped bandage, someone like - _

_ Like.. _

_. _

_. _

_. _

  
  


**_Ý̶̬͔͙̜̝̭͙̤̰̫̮̲̄̈́͌̐̆͋͑̒̚͜͠͝͠ͅ ̴̻̱̪̞̜͍̠̳̤̗͔̻̹͈͐͆͌̔͝͠Ö̴̢̡̮͕̗̰̟͔̻̟̼͎̲̠͖̉̓̓̍͂̉̔͗̕ ̷̢̢̬͎̭̠̩̼̰͔̽̾̓͒̐̊̊̽͋̚̚͝͝ͅƯ̴̡͕̮̪̥̭̂͗͐̊͠ ̸̨̡̜̣͇͇͖̯͕̺̟͔̯̬̫̦̮̑̄̌̃͗̉̎̆̐̀͗̅̕̚͠ ≯̧̳̼͍̾̓_ **

~

You plopped back down onto Zoe’s couch, huffing as you forced down the creeping nausea that had caused this sledgehammer headache.

“Zoeee… can you get my computerrr…”

She resisted the urge to hurl a sponge at your forehead, no matter how satisfying or funny it would be. 

“Yes your royal pain in my ass, I’ll bend to your every whim - “

Hissing back a response, you threw a pillow at her once she rinsed her hands and put the sponge down.

“Fuck you, I’m in pain, bitch - !”

A quiet  _ ssssrrrippp _ was heard by both of you, and..

_ Ohmygoditfeltlikeyouwerebeingstabbedoverandoveragain - _

A whimpery groan escaped you, and you faltered, doubling over, frustrated at the fact that your wounds kept reopening, why wouldn’t they heal?!

“...That was blood this morning, wasn’t it (Y/N)..?”

Zoe leaned over the back of the couch, hesitating before deciding to not touch you, only due to not knowing where you were hurt. 

“Mmhn, jus’ fuckin’ help me please..”

Gripping your pant leg tightly, you heaved, and out of the corner of your eye, you glimpsed a puddle of deep crimson staining the cream colored couch.

Your breathing picked up, vision blurring rapidly.. shit, you were gonna…

Faint cries echoed around you, and you slumped, sliding smoothly into unconsciousness.

Lack of sleep and food really drained a person.

What nightmares would plague you this time in the blackened abyss..?

**Author's Note:**

> nobody:
> 
> Reader-Chan: Mamaaaaaa,, I killed a mannn -


End file.
